Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
