was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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