Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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