At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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