No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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