I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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