On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
