how can u be prego again
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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