Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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