my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
