He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
