So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
