Say something about gay babies.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
