the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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