Got a toothbrush?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
