It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
