Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
