then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
