Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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