Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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