i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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