He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
