You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
