What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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