I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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