Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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