Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
