just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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