My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
and you fell through a lawn chair
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
