In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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