So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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