she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
