Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
