Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
