it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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