I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
