You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
