i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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