somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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