oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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