3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
