I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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