I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
