he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
