had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
