You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
