Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
