I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
