But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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