its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
