i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
