no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
